relationship of two or more people who are in sync or on the same wavelength because they feel similar and/or relate well to each other.
It stems from an old French verb rapporter which means literally to carry something back; and in the sense of how people relate to each other means that what one person sends out the other sends back, for example, they may realise that they share similar values, beliefs, knowledge, or behaviours around sports or politics.
Having rapport as the foundation for any relationship, be it a business or personal one, means that when there are tough issues to discusss, you can more easily find solutions and move on. There may be some key individuals that you'd like to know better or somebody you would like to influence - but it is also important to remember that rapport is a two-way street. Fortunately, you can learn how to build rapport although you won't always be able to build immediate rapport with everyone you meet!
The most important thing to realise before you start to expect anyone to listen to you is that you must have established some level of rapport with that person. Effective communciation is based on the level of rapport you have with the person you are engaging with. This is something you learn intuitively and you will know when you've made a good rapport connection when you experience a genuine sense of trust and respect with the other person, when you engage comfortably with someone no matter how different they are to you and when you know that you are listening and being listened to.
Rapport comparisons
Think for a moment about someone you already have rapport with. What signals do you send out to them and receive back which allows you to know that you're on the same wavelength? How do you keep this effective rapport relationship current?
At the opposite end of the spectrum, think for a moment about someone you do not have rapport with, but would like to nurture. What signals do you send out to them and receive back that allow you to know that you're not on the same wavelength? What gets in the way of you building rapport with this person?
You might believe that the person you do not have rapport with is too complicated or difficult to understand, or from a background too far removed from yours to even contemplate achieving a good rapport relationship. However, by being more flexible in how you convey your personality and your thoughts to and about that person, you may actually find that you can build rapport with them, albeit slowly. It is important in this instance to take the time to get to know what 'makes them tick' and what is important in their life, rather than expecting them to adapt to you.
Some techniques to help you build on your rapport skill
* take a genuine interest in getting to know what's important to the person you want to build rapport with. Be interested in understanding them rather than expecting them to understand you first.
* note the words they use most often, favourite phrases and way of speaking. Introduce these into your own conversation so that you start to sound like them.
* notice how the person likes information conveyed to them. Do they like lots of details or just the 'big' picture? As you converse with this person, give them back information in the same portion size that they respond to.
* breathe in unison with them.
* mimick a similar stance to them in your body language, gestures, voice tone and speed.
* try to understand the other person's thought process in whatever route they might go about getting their desired outcome - they may not always get it right but trust that their intentions were good at the outset. And, lastly -
* respect the other person's time, energy, favourite people and money. These things are very important to them!
Rapport happens at many levels and you can continue to build rapport all the time through:
.....the places and people you spend time with
.....the way you look, sound and behave
.....the skills you have learned
.....the values that you live by
.....your beliefs
.....your purpose in life
.....being yourself
For most women, the language of conversation is primarily a language of rapport: a way of establishing connections and negotiating relationships. ~ Deborah Tannen (American Sociologist)